Astoria, Oregon Safeway

Yesterday was a long day for us. My husband and I spent the morning packing & tying up loose ends before our trip down the Oregon coast. Every summer we go to a Christian conference near Lincoln City.

By about 2:30, we left town, on our way to Oregon. It was a beautiful day as we drove through areas that can have some really nasty, rainy weather even in the summer. Not yesterday, though, as it was sunshine all the way except for a bit of fog near the mouth of the Columbia River & a bit along the coast.

We stopped at Dismal Niche, where the Lewis and Clark expedition spent some time near the end of their journey. It is now part of the Lewis & Clark National Park. The rest area is very nice, with beautiful views of the bridge over the Columbia, the river, & Astoria on the Oregon side of the bridge.

My husband had a  couple of things he wanted to check out in town, so we looked around for awhile. It was dinner time by then, but neither of us was hungry. We decided instead to stop at the Safeway to get some things for the next day.

I took a look at the deli area, hunting for a sandwich. There was a lot of variety & some very nice-looking options, but I wasn't in the mood. Something did catch my eye, though.

At the end of the sandwich cooler, near the exit door stood a young man. Well, he was having some trouble standing. I wasn't sure if he was handicapped or not. So I went over to him and asked if he wanted a sandwich.

When I got close to him, I could tell why he was having trouble. The smell of alcohol on his breath was really strong. He picked out a sandwich and I told him to wait there while I bought it and brought it back to him.

He was still waiting when I got back, so I gave him the sandwich and walked him to the door. "You better take it outside so no one thinks you stole it," I said. He was pretty out of it, so I didn't think it would do much good to try to talk to him much. I did ask him where he lived, and he said he was homeless. I think I smiled and said goodbye - at least I hope I did. He pointed upwards and said, "Do you hear the music?"  Yes, there was music playing over the loudspeakers. Nice.

There was a young lady, employee of Safeway, who had come over to deal with the young man. She told me what I did was really a nice thing. I said some lame stuff about making wrong choices & how sad the young man's life was.

THEN, I started to think. Until then I was just reacting to the situation, but not in such a thoughtful way. Just doing my duty, I guess.

I did a good work, but how good?  What grade would I give myself?  I don't know. Do I grade myself on the curve, or compared to some absolute standard of righteousness & goodness?

I don't mean that there was no good at all in what I did. I mean it wasn't fully good. It was a little bit good.  Why do I say that?

Well, it dawned on me that the food we were buying will go on an expense account, not out of our own pocket. It is a work-related conference. So, it really cost me nothing financially to purchase the sandwich. It just went on the bill that we will turn in for reimbursement.

What did it cost me? A few steps to the cashier's and back to the sandwich cooler. A few words with a homeless young man. It didn't cost me much at all either financially or in sweat equity. We were in a beautiful, modern supermarket in a prosperous small town in one of the most beautiful settings in the world. I didn't even have to go outside my comfort zone.

So, on a scale of 1-10, how good was my good work? At least a 1, maybe, but it was a very incomplete work. Maybe just a 1, if that is how good works are judged - on a scale of 1-10.

It was a better work than most people, who would have ignored him altogether, but still. Is that how good works are judged?  If I compare myself with others, I am foolish. Good works probably are not judged on the curve.

Well, at least something is better than nothing. That is true. Something is better than nothing. A minuscule good work is better than no good work at all. How much better? A little higher up on the curve than the vast majority of people, whom I imagine would have done nothing?

Remember, though, the sandwich was not paid for out of my own pocket. Then, by assuming that I am in some special category of people who would do something as opposed to the vast majority who would have done nothing - but do I know that? No, I don't know that. So, my self-graded  "1" on the "good work-o-meter" may not even reach that standard. Maybe a .1?

Then other scenarios play in my head. How could I have scored better? How could I have reached a bit higher on the curve?

Instead of being a  afraid of the young man, I could have hugged him and told him how much Jesus loves him. I could have prayed a prayer of thanksgiving over the sandwich and asked God to bless this unfortunate human being.

Heck!  I could have bought him a soda and chips, maybe even a candy bar or a whole bag of food. That would have been a much better good work. If only I had thought of all that sooner! That would have put me much closer to St. Teresa of Calcutta range.

If I had thought to pray the O, my Jesus prayer with him, imagine how delighted the angels would have been!

So, how good, then, was my good work? It seemed that the Holy Spirit wanted me to do at least that much. It was prompted by grace, then.

I know it wasn't very good. It fell very far short of perfection. I could have done more. However, if I say that it was no good at all, then maybe I am offending the Holy Spirit who seems to have prompted me to do at least that much. I can't deny that grace was operating in me. There was a little bit of love involved, & that love from God who is love.

That brings me to today's Mass reading. It was on Jesus' analogies of the Kingdom of God to a treasure hidden in a field, a pearl of great price, & a catch of fish. (Matthew 13:44-52).

The video from the USCCB for today reminded me of a lesson I thought I had learned awhile ago. Good works are generally not perfect works. There generally is an element of selfishness, wrong motives, or cowardice mixed in. Those in today's reading were no exception.

Jesus' works are the only ones that are fully perfected, with no hint of selfishness or sin of any kind. Pure good works. Pure love. Oh, and because of a peculiar, special work of grace, the Blessed Virgin Mary was also preserved without sin from the time of her Conception.

What is my conclusion?

Well, the young man may have been an angel, sent to test me. When we left the Safeway just a couple of minutes later, the kid was nowhere to be found. How could he have gotten out of sight so fast?  Where did he go? Yes, my imagination is pretty active sometimes.

It's more likely he was just a lost boy making horrible choices in his life. I like the angel scenario, though. He did point up towards heaven and asked if I could hear the music, after all.

He was a messenger in a way. The meeting was providential, I believe.


How does a young man with such beautiful blue eyes end up on the streets?  Does he have a mother who prays for him or a father who looks for his return until his eyes become weary? Probably not. Maybe he does. Maybe my presence was an answer to his mom's or grandmother's prayers - or even his own. Why do I assume grace is not operative in his heart when the Holy Spirit is at work everywhere all the time?

My score is slipping!

Most street kids come from broken homes or single mothers. His parents are likely just as lost as he is. Yet there is hope. I call him a street kid because he was probably about 19 or 20 years old. Just a kid.

See my assumptions?

I can't not see those blue eyes...  or stop praying O, my Jesus...

Still, it is better to do even a small good work than none at all.  It increases happiness all around. It brings glory to God somehow. It is right and just to do good. They are a sign of God's grace at work in this dark, sinful world.

No, they do not buy God's grace, God's favor. A person cannot put a good work coin or point into the grace machine and expect God to do us a favor. He's not like that. You can't buy what has been freely given already.

It's complicated...